Loneliness - The Not So Hidden Problem of Young Adults

The whole reason I went into this thing is because after college I was rather shocked. No longer around thousands of kids my age, I looked around for the gaggle of friends I always had to sustain me. Empty, broken, bored, and scared, I flailed about and got more friends. But what if it doesn't come that easily for you? What if the dating apps make you obsess so much that you would rather read War and Peace at the library? We can say it's a critical time in a child's life - the chance to grow up and discover your true identity.

But.

Your parents are broke, you live in the basement, your boyfriend is self-absorbed and your job is mind-numbing? What then? Sure - go join a meetup, go hiking, go skiing, do stuff. What if you're an introvert? What if you don't drive? What if you had a bad or a ton of bad experiences in college and childhood? What could possibly go wrong? Perhaps we have to repair the missing pieces first. According to "Positive Psychology" here are just a few ways trauma can impact launching:

• Childhood trauma can significantly impact mental & emotional development, leading to challenges in behavior & relationships.

• Healing from trauma involves creating a safe environment, fostering trust & promoting open communication for emotional recovery.

• Professional support & therapeutic interventions are vital in helping children & adults process trauma & build resilience.

If a young adult is having trouble - I find they might need to go back before they go forward. This process has to do with dealing with the trauma and regaining the lost confidence, skills, learning, etc. Go back to get unstuck: this was not your fault!! Go forward to practice: this is the method, the how and the why. You can build emotional safety into your relationships! Here are just a few from this article: (https://positivereseteatontown.com/how-to-build-emotional-safety-in-relationships-after-experiencing-trauma/)

For the Young Adult -

1. Prioritize Self-Awareness & Healing: Understand your triggers and how trauma impacts you. Therapy (individual or group) is crucial for processing trauma and rebuilding self-trust.

2. Build Emotional Safety: Cultivate a sense of calm and safety within yourself and your environment.

3. Establish Boundaries: Define what feels safe and acceptable; boundaries are key to feeling secure, not pushing people away.

4. Communicate Needs Gradually: Share your experiences at your own pace, starting with general feelings, as trust grows.

5. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Trauma creates distortions; work to recognize and change patterns that say "all people are unsafe".

6. Find Support: Lean on trusted friends, family, or support groups outside the relationship. 

Once this work is done one can move toward exposure to people, experimentation, risk-taking, remembering that the past is over! Let's see if a #traumainformed approach can help a little in overcoming loneliness. I'd rather deeply heal and gain some freedom than be locked into a never-ending cycle of regret.