The Cynical Generation

Poppy

In working with my clients I have been overwhelmed by their sense of cynicism. Why wouldn't they be cynical: they were born into 9/11. Yes, that's my daughter, born in 2001, missed most of college due to COVID and wracked with debt in a faltering job market; in a flattening world.

How in the world do I help them make sense of it?

I feel like telling my daughter I'm sorry that you don't know the absolute joy of riding your bike after school without a phone. I'm sorry there's no Jewish community or any community that helps young people come together and sing/dance even. I'm sorry that for much of your life a demented lunatic has run the country with his demented lunatic cronies, stealing from your wallet with draconian student debt and soaring medical prices. A world in which you beg your partner not to call an ambulance if you stumble because you don't want to add bankruptcy to your list of ruminations.

As for young adults and relationships, it couldn't be any worse. The divorce rate remains steady at over half. Beat those odds while you work two jobs. My friends' kids are starting to fail. The ones that went big are finding their souls are being sucked out by corporate grift. The ones that started slow are finding fewer opportunities. No one can afford NYC. The apps are appalling. There is simply no way to find a guy who shows up with some game and some manners. The city beats you down and is surprisingly lonely. Guys lack maturity and reliability first and foremost. Can you learn to set a time and a place? Can you not be a ghoster? And girls, do not lower your standards but adjust them. Allow for mental flexibility in the face of challenges.

I have a client who has many conditions for meeting a man. The problem is nobody can meet them; they are too rigid. Of course you should be compatible. You should have chemistry, stability, values. All these ingredients mix together to form the soup. But mostly compromise is not your enemy. These times demand awareness. A path where you can believe in yourself, where people come outside when it's minus 10 degrees for Mamdani, for freedom, for hope, and prayers, not just blinding greed. People should come out for their friends and neighbors, break bread, travel. It's like the whole world is on congestion pricing now.

It's not that I want to sit around and sing Kumbaya - although it couldn't hurt. I recognize that the world is shifting its tectonic plates and we must be careful and cautious. Did I ever dream when I was their age, living in Tel Aviv, Israel, wandering around by myself, that we would live in a time where you have to hide your Jewish star? And no, I am in favor of Israel's over-reach and lack of humanity. Yes, any other country would be justified in defending itself. But if you love your children more than you love your guns, you would stop and listen for a time when you could inject some free-range time, some spontaneous fun, some unstructured activity, into your kids' lives. Better to go back to basics than turn darker onto ourselves.

Jon Haight got it right - not just an Anxious Generation, but a totally flummoxed, confused and angry one. Make America Joyful Again. #MAJA.