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The Before Times

Really it's so bad. Teens are in trouble. The teens in my group are laughing and screaming, alone in their rooms or wandering in cars or sitting on zoom-homework or staring or crying at the screen, growing anxious and avoidant and not sleeping.

I am just holding it and holding it, ready to burst myself. There's a hypnosis to it. My voice is rhythmic like a yoga teacher. I am projecting calm if not coma. I give them hope, patience, laughter. I let them cry. I am not afraid of tears. I am medicated and vaccinated and caffeinated. Yes it's true, when my thyroid went offline I got to take a drug that also helps w anxiety. Jackpot! 

The kids are not alright but we soldier on. No wonder they want to change gender/friend group/hair/family/school - what else is there to ponder these days? I keep them strong, I ask what they need because only they ultimately know. One said, "I need a friend." Then in the group I asked, would anyone be willing to be her friend? They volunteered one by one. We all cried. 

Life is just a game and we let slip away says Seals and Croft. Be patient with yourself. The process works. The girl said, ok I'll talk to my mom even though I am so very angry. 

Little tiny hints of Spring take form. Daylight Savings brings a new Vernal Day. You smell it on the wind. I am scared to go forward and scared not to. A lot of people have told me about time. Time is playing a trick on us all more like Russian roulette. Be ready.


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