How I work with Teen and Young Adult Anxiety - a primer for parents

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Navigating the teenage years can be a rough journey, especially when anxiety becomes a frequent companion. As a parent, it’s essential to understand this challenge to provide support and foster an environment where emotions can be shared openly. With anxiety rates among teens rising, with a reported increase of 25% in anxiety symptoms from 2011 to 2021, recognizing and dealing with these issues is more important than ever.

Anxiety can show up in various ways—from worries about grades and social situations to feelings of loneliness. My work with teens facing these challenges has taught me valuable lessons that can assist you as a parent.

Understanding Teen Anxiety

It's normal for teens to experience some degree of anxiety, but distinguishing between typical feelings and more serious issues is vital.

For instance, I met a girl who struggled intensely with anxiety about her school performance. She felt sick to her stomach before every math test, fearing failure. This vivid example illustrates how anxiety can infiltrate everyday life and impact relationships. Delving into the root causes of anxiety is a key step toward addressing it effectively.

Studies show that 70% of teens report feeling stressed by academic pressures. Other sources of anxiety include peer relationships, social media influence, and high parental expectations. Being mindful of these factors can help foster understanding. For example, I had a client who failed her chemistry final - she was upset not because of her grade, but because others could see her crying outside the bathroom at school! Kids actually feel that they are being watched all the time! (Are they?) I try to work with: "who cares?!" in this situation. Seriously, everyone is so worked up about their own troubles, why would they notice you?

The Signs of Anxiety

Identifying anxiety in teens can be difficult but doesn't have to be. What's fascinating is that some teens can handle it just fine. During college, my boyfriend at the time once took apart a car (my car!!) and put it back together again - then also got straight A's in college by never, and I mean never, studying! Others are so demanding and hypercritical of themselves that they are paralyzed and stuck in procrastination loops. At some point, you gotta just "do it." They might not communicate their feelings directly but instead show changes in behavior, such as my favorite non-coping mechanism: avoidance. Avoidance does nothing for you but intensify anxiety.

From my experience, typical signs include:

• Increased irritability or mood swings

• Withdrawal from social interactions

• Unusual sleep patterns, either insomnia or oversleeping

• Trouble concentrating on schoolwork or tasks

• Physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches without clear medical reasons

  
  

If you see any of these signs in your child, consider initiating a gentle conversation about their feelings. Creating a trusting and non-judgmental space encourages them to share their worries. In these cases, I often work with the idea of "thought choice/stopping." You have a choice in each moment how to act and what to do. No one ever told me this; I thought I was doomed to anxious thoughts. Pick and choose your worries.

Open Communication

Maintaining open communication is one of the best tools for addressing teen anxiety. I learned that a non-confrontational environment - but even more so - an actively supportive environment - invites teens to express their emotions (especially if you use humor). ("What's the worst that could happen?"). Jon Haight says they need more free play - of course! I love hearing the kids in my neighborhood play. That carefree world of going home at dusk is over - but the freedom to make mistakes is still around...

Instead of "stranger danger," says Haight, monitor their phones, not their street cred. One client said she was terrified letting her child go to the city alone. Go and rescue him, or let him sort it out? My child missed the last train - go and rescue her or make her take an expensive Uber?! Tough one. If determined to be safe, marinating in the consequences of bad judgment teaches some great life-long lessons indeed.

Tools for Managing Anxiety

Here are some practical strategies to help your teen manage anxiety effectively:

1. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Activities such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can be effective in reducing anxiety. Apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided sessions that can introduce these practices seamlessly into your teen's routine.

   
   

2. Physical Activity: Encourage your teen to find physical activities they enjoy, whether it’s team sports, dance, or just walking. Regular exercise has been shown to lower anxiety levels significantly, contributing to improved mental health.

   
   

3. Creative Outlets: Encourage artistic expressions like drawing, music, or writing. Engaging in these activities can provide a constructive way for teens to process their feelings.

   
   

4. Limit Media Consumption: The constant flow of news and social media can escalate anxiety. Encourage limited screen time to help your teen disconnect from triggers and focus on their mental health.

   
   

5. Seek Professional Help When Needed: If anxiety continues or worsens, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional. Early help can lead to effective coping strategies that assist your teen in managing anxiety long-term.

   
   

Support Networks

Building a reliable support network is crucial for your child's mental health. Encourage them to engage with friends who uplift them and to participate in clubs or activities that reflect their interests.

Getting involved in community groups—whether through sports, art classes, or academic clubs—can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness and anxiety. These connections promote a sense of belonging and are invaluable during challenging times. Always remind your teen that leaning on friends is natural and often necessary.

A peaceful space for reflection and relaxation.

Final Thoughts

Addressing teen anxiety is a complex journey, but with the right tools and strategies, you can empower your child to face their feelings head-on.

By fostering open communication, teaching coping skills, and encouraging strong connections, you can make a significant difference in your teen's ability to manage their anxiety.

Remember, many parents share similar experiences and challenges. With understanding and compassion, we can create nurturing environments for our teens, allowing them to grow and thrive.

Your active involvement is key to helping prevent panic and building resilience in your child's life. Let’s navigate this path together, supporting our teens every step of the way. (Try my course for more insights!)