Teenagers and Therapists; Trust and Red Flags and Negotiation

Going through your younger years in isolation from peers and family is the ultimate loneliness.  When young people tell you I didn't leave my apartment in NYC for EIGHT months, do you have any idea what that means?  Do you understand the concepts of fear, friendship and failure?  Imagine yourself going through that.  I honestly can't.  I rely on my friends for kindness, support, connection and advice.  I rely on my family for social and spiritual continuity.  If you have no narrative of your life, who are you?  You cannot be defined by loneliness.  Loneliness has to be a passing phase but it's also been defined by the surgeon general as an epidemic.  

When a teen's mother is listening in on or interrupting the sessions, you can be there are boundary issues.

When a teen's father is drunk at a stadium and can't get the kids home, you can bet there's an alcohol problem.

When a teen's family doesn't allow any outings or independence, you can bet it will backfire in rebellion.

When a college student lies about going to class, you can bet he has missed more classes.

When a young adult doesn't refill her prescriptions while at school, you can bet she is going to crash.

When a college student is behind in all assignments at this time of year, you can bet she will fail one class.

It's like if you give a pig a pancake...................................

Common sense therapy involves speaking to the parents honestly and directly.

Common sense therapy means asking yourself, if this were your kid, what would you do?

Common sense therapy says stay with the process.

Common sense therapy means more appointments not fewer.

Common sense therapy means not continuing the case if it's not for you.

Common sense therapy is giving the crisis text line number to every single teenager. (www.crisistextline.org)

Remember to have hope.

Remember life isn't fair.

Do it anyway.