What Does it Take to Work with Suicide?

That's where the light comes in...

What can you possibly learn in school to prepare you for this level trauma, shock sadness and grief? In my suicide bereavement group it is raw. Then, allowing for the individual and collective pain points, they soften and comfort each other. They participate as if it was a group no one would ever be a member of. Because it is. I am bearing witness, gently guiding, holding space. I manage the monopolizers and the retreaters. This is how I make my living.

What does it do to me to feel this empathy and confusion and lack of meaning day in and day out. I thought I was immune to the vagaries of my work. Far from it. I need rest, relaxation and hell-yeah, self-care. I need exercise and alone time. I need space to vent and make sense of the senseless. But week after week these people have something to teach me. They put it right in my face: you are the lucky one. You survived. You must therefore carry on. Axiomatic.

**Suicide prevention is about connection, support, and making it easier to get help—especially in moments when pain feels unbearable. It’s a hard field because risk can change quickly, stigma can keep people silent, and there’s rarely one clear cause, precursor or one simple solution. Prevention work asks us to hold urgency and hope at the same time: to listen without judgment, take warning signs seriously, and help people reach care and community support. If you or someone you know is struggling, you can call or text 988 (24/7). In New York City, you can also contact NYC Well at 1-888-NYC-WELL or text “WELL” to 65173. If there’s immediate danger, call 911.**

• People may look “fine” on the outside while feeling overwhelmed inside, and many carry a mix of depression, anxiety, trauma, substance use, chronic pain, grief, financial stress, discrimination, or isolation that can intensify over time. That complexity means prevention isn’t about finding the perfect thing to say—it’s about showing up consistently, taking suffering seriously, and helping someone stay connected to care and to other people.

The group ends - I know I'm scared and shocked but I'm also really grounded to myself. I know I am safe from harm. And that is enough.